I'm Amber and here are 3 things you need to know about me:
1) I am fiercely loyal to the people I love.
2) I'm one of the most emotional people I know, but I'll almost never tell you if I'm hurting.
3) I have a hard time making friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm "out of sight, out of mind" to most people in my life, at the bottom of all the friend totem poles.
I recently had a birthday. Nothing big, no milestone, but still a birthday. A day that I hoped to share with my friends. Long story short, I basically got stood up. And it hurt. A whole hell of a lot. Because if your "friends" say they'll be there and then blow you off ON YOUR DAMN BIRTHDAY, it makes you feel some things. I took a few days to get my mind right before saying anything because I didn't want to respond angrily and make them mad. (SN: Um excuse me, how ridiculous is it that I was hurting but didn't want to make the ones who hurt me uncomfortable by saying that they hurt me. What is my life? Extra SN: Don't you worry...my husband was having none of this bullshit and defended my weepy honor. Refer to #2 above.)
I've agonized through most of my adult life about how to BE THERE for people. How to celebrate them and just try to bring a smile to their faces. I realized that I give a lot and don't get much in return. I also don't think I ask for things when I need them. I could also have my head fully up my own ass and be a giant selfish asshole that no one likes. I don't think that's the case, but on the off chance that it is, that's why I'm going to be proactive about reaching out and being a better friend on my end. We'll see where this goes!
1) I am fiercely loyal to the people I love.
2) I'm one of the most emotional people I know, but I'll almost never tell you if I'm hurting.
3) I have a hard time making friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm "out of sight, out of mind" to most people in my life, at the bottom of all the friend totem poles.
I recently had a birthday. Nothing big, no milestone, but still a birthday. A day that I hoped to share with my friends. Long story short, I basically got stood up. And it hurt. A whole hell of a lot. Because if your "friends" say they'll be there and then blow you off ON YOUR DAMN BIRTHDAY, it makes you feel some things. I took a few days to get my mind right before saying anything because I didn't want to respond angrily and make them mad. (SN: Um excuse me, how ridiculous is it that I was hurting but didn't want to make the ones who hurt me uncomfortable by saying that they hurt me. What is my life? Extra SN: Don't you worry...my husband was having none of this bullshit and defended my weepy honor. Refer to #2 above.)
I've agonized through most of my adult life about how to BE THERE for people. How to celebrate them and just try to bring a smile to their faces. I realized that I give a lot and don't get much in return. I also don't think I ask for things when I need them. I could also have my head fully up my own ass and be a giant selfish asshole that no one likes. I don't think that's the case, but on the off chance that it is, that's why I'm going to be proactive about reaching out and being a better friend on my end. We'll see where this goes!
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